You just got a “raise” and you’re furious: How to lose a dedicated employee

This tale may sound familiar to any low-level corporate employee who’s ever felt underappreciated at their job. Anyone who’s been pressured to push the line of work/life balance in the hopes it may lead to higher compensation.

Anyone who’s had that illusion spectacularly shattered.

Bad company: Your boss doesn’t care about you

You’re a great employee.

Like, really great.

Motivated, adaptable, incredibly organized, excels in communication, the whole ten yards.

Get it? Ten yards. Because you go above and beyond. Of course, you get it, because you’re clever, too.

On top of all that, you genuinely love your company. An embarrassing amount.

Your coworkers are phenomenal and the office is much nicer than anywhere you’ve ever worked. You’re passionate about your role and enjoy finding creative new ways to contribute to the “team”.

MVP: Team player or whatever

You’ve worked your ass off this year, and it shows. You even won a prize recently for being your team’s top performer (a lovely plastic trophy, how telling).

Your performance has been so impressive that it even temporarily quiets the malicious voice in your head that constantly insists you’re a know-nothing fraud.

So it comes as no surprise when you got nothing but overwhelming praise for your performance and drive during your annual evaluation last week.

What did come as a shock, however, was the email you received with the actual payoff for the grueling pace you’d been running.

Humans first, employees second: Corporate BS after surviving abuse and financial manipulation

When you’d first landed this job over two years ago, it felt like a lifeboat, rescuing you just in time before your head slipped under the rising water.

Prior to moving across the country to start over, you’d been trapped in an abusive relationship for five years, one which left you heavily in debt due to financial manipulation.

What little savings you did manage to escape with were quickly gobbled up as you were forced to flee across the country to escape in the middle of a global pandemic.

You’d been diagnosed with CPTSD, adding additional weight to the odds that were already heavily stacked against you. You hated the thought of his abuse still affecting you after the fact, familiar as you were with the statistics regarding the repercussions and lasting impacts of abuse.

But despite the bleak odds, you were free, and you had a new job after months of interviews. For the first time in years, you were hopeful.

Putting in overtime: Six months earlier

Part of what makes this whole situation so insulting is the knowledge that you’d begun the process of asking for a raise months earlier.

After conducting a deep-dive into salary negotiating TikTok, weeks of compiling analytics as evidence of your performance, and begging friends and family to proofread your request, you tentatively broached the topic during your weekly meeting with your boss.

To your delight, he’d responded encouragingly, saying you were doing amazing work and totally deserved more! He’s always been impressed with your work and claims to be your biggest champion at the company. He’d bring it up with his supervisor and get back to you in a few days.

After a week of slowly crawling days spent earnestly refreshing your email, the response finally arrived in your inbox… Informing you that you needed to wait until your annual review, which was coming up in 2 months.

Ok. That makes sense. No big deal.

The first time you’d ever asked for a promotion in your life, and you were denied.

Ok.

Ok. Ok.

Tears burn behind your eyes.

It’s fine. Deep breaths. Don’t panic. Don’t break. Don’t drown in humiliation. This is how it works. Brush it off. Keep showing them how much you deserve this.

When your boss mentions it in your next 1:1 meeting, you smile and assure him you understand completely. He promises to help you get to that next level.

Kicked while you’re down: The human face of refusing employees a liveable wage

When you were denied that first time, you’d been in the process of looking for a new apartment, having been priced out of the place you’d been living due to the meager wage.

You stayed optimistic as you searched, but finding a halfway livable rental that didn’t eat up over half of your salary was nearly impossible. The conditions went from bad to worse as you toured the handful of places you could barely afford.

Unfortunately, the nicest place in your budget turned out to be a literal slum.

Infestations from both bugs and animals; broken appliances; predatory and illegal towing practices; countless poorly patched holes in the walls; flooding from broken air conditioners, sinks, and the washing machine that never worked; all topped off with a disconnected emergency maintenance line.

A damp towel becomes your hallway rug, sopping up the ever-present puddles formed by constant leaks. You do your best to trap the stream of spiders, lizards, and scorpions yourself before your dogs discover them. A neighbor keys your car in the parking lot.

Each ignored plea for help with the deteriorating unit is yet another triggering reminder of the domestic abuse you endured.

You start to internalize the belief that there must have been something you did, something karmically unforgivable, to deserve this ongoing punishment. You cry each night as you hear your creepy neighbor loudly masturbating through the paper-thin walls.

But our office has a massage chair!

To put it gently, your mental health is circling the drain of the ancient, low-flow toilet.

After just a few months, you’re forced to move again due to the unlivable conditions, fighting a vindictive property owner every step of the way.

You end up having to move in with your (absolutely lovely, thank goodness) current partner so both of you can make ends meet.

Your employer’s office may have a fancy start-up vibe, frivolous amenities, and a coffee machine, but without actual compensation, this is what you’re going home to.

Several months of not breaking character later

Despite your abysmal living conditions, you continue being innovative in your role at work: building systems, solving problems, taking on extra work, and seeking out professional development courses to bolster your resume.

Although you were rejected the first time, you’re still confident in the belief that your contributions will pay off for you. You have no choice but to remain hopeful, because you aren’t sure what else to do.

Don’t think about your rising debt. Don’t think about all the money your abusive ex stole, the savings you had to drain to move somewhere safe to get away.

Man, everything is so expensive.

In a meeting one day, your manager announces his brand-new electric truck has been delivered and makes everyone go outside to look at it. You cry when you look up the price later.

But you smile through gritted teeth and keep pushing until finally, the time arrives: the month of the annual review process!

You’ve been patient, continuing to show your dedication by working at a monumental pace, and you’re certain it’s finally going to pay off.

Dear valued employee…

Wait, what’s that announcement?

In the weekly employee newsletter, it’s announced that annual performance reviews and merit increases are going to be delayed for three months for some fill-in-the-blank reason outside of the company’s control.

Shit. Fuck. Oh.

Still, you’re forced to remain optimistic. This just means you’ll get back paid for that time! Then you’ll be able to finally chip away at the debt that’s rising up to swallow you.

At the next staff meeting, the executive team jokes about collecting yachts.

’Tis the damn season: Cold realities of being underpaid

The holidays blur stressfully by.

You wish you could afford nicer gifts for your family. After confiding in your similarly-struggling friends, you all agree not to exchange anything. You’re afraid to check your credit card balance.

During a routine cleaning, your dentist tells you that you grind your teeth. They recommend a customized mouthguard and perhaps a reduction in daily stress.

Sure thing, let me know where I can pick those up. What a surprise, neither is covered by my company’s expensive-ass insurance.

Three MORE months later

When the time for your annual review finally arrives, a full six months after you originally tried to request a raise, you spend hours thoroughly filling out your self-evaluation.

In addition to the standard questions and comments, you’re encouraged by your supervisor to attach a letter with all your accomplishments, for which you’d again spent days gathering data and perfecting.

As down on yourself as you’ve been about your finances, the return on investment for your work has been wild (an unprecedented 100–150% in several metrics).

It was the systems you built, implemented, and managed that fostered that insane amount of growth. All while doing a job outside the scope of your current description, and thus your current pay.

Looking at it all laid out like that, you feel a swell of pride. It’s a rare moment of data-backed confidence that can’t be denied. The numbers don’t lie: you’re impressive as hell.

You decide you’re going to ask for a significant raise and a promotion while you’re at it. How could they say no with all of this evidence and praise?

You research the art of negotiation, read Tori Dunlap’s Financial Feminist, and practice imaginary conversations again and again. You’re ready for this shit. Let’s negotiate.

Making the result of that effort even more of a slap in the face.

Three. Fucking. Percent?

You stare blankly at the email as the words seep their way into your comprehension.

Then, you silently stand from the couch where you’d been watching a show with your partner, handing him your phone in answer to his questioning look. You walk out of the room and lock yourself into your closet.

Only then do you burst into tears.

Inflation was 3.5%, so after accounting for that, you effectively worked your ass off for the entire year to receive a .5% pay cut.

What a fucking chump.

You’re humiliated by this news, not only because of the paltry sum but because of the hoops you’d jumped through just to arrive at that number.

After months of forced optimism and blind hopefulness, you finally break.

Going “above and beyond” at wasting my damn time

After this depressing-ass raise, you’re still highly motivated, just not in the way your company hopes.

You brush off your resume, updating it with your impressive results and professional achievements. Within months, you’ve landed a new job that pays significantly more.

When you turn in your notice, your boss is shocked and even seems hurt.

Spitefully, this fills you with glee.

You are no longer going to be suckered into being an above-and-beyond employee. You’re no longer chasing a bar that keeps being raised mockingly out of your reach.

You’ve been doing that for years, and it’s been proven to get you nowhere.

Return on self-investment

What you will be putting effort into going forward is setting boundaries in your new job. You will do the job you’re getting paid for and resist tacking on “other duties as assigned”.

You will not be fooled into thinking your supervisor is your friend or that you can trust them with personal information about your life.

You will turn your work notifications off outside of work hours because despite what they’ll try to make you believe, it’s not that urgent.

You’re no longer going to bend over backward for someone when you’re not getting anything in return. You’ve worked very hard to escape that kind of abusive environment, and it’s a boundary that needs reinforcing in all areas of life.

This balance will allow you to, for the first time, go above and beyond for yourself. You’ll have more energy to pursue your passions.

You’re tired of someone else making bags off of your effort and expertise. If you can grow your company’s efforts that significantly in one year, wait until you find out what focusing on yourself for a change can do.

They knew what you were really worth. It’s about time you take it.