I’ve decided I need space SOMETIMES However I don’t like sleeping alone lol I’m a needy bitch. Ok but that’s not needy that’s sweet Can you describe specifically something you don’t like about it? (Or just think about it if that’s a weird question, just a thought exercise.)
It feels a little needy 🤣 I used to be so a-okay when I was just living with roommates and now I’m like hm this is boring and my toes are cold I think I specifically don’t like that I (perceive) myself being needy in even the slightest sense because trAUmmAaaaaAaaa 🎶 My trauma absolutely agrees with you: we 💯 do not deserve to have needs. We should forever be on standby for others’ comfort and security, but never want anything for ourselves It would also like to add that we’re just in general bad people and far too much
We need to work on this 🤣 accountability buddies this year 🤝 lol honestly it’s kind of nice to get a lil me time before bed Also late night zoomies** like what am I just gunna have a zoomie alone?? absolutely not
Lolol I was just saying to Juan how I do that every night I say goodnight then have like 11 little side quests on my way
I feel like you definitely enjoy your alone time and that’s super okay ya know?? Like you know yourself well enough to know that that’s probably actually a really positive value add to your guys relationship
Tonight it was making a lil half sandwich bc I forgot to take my anxiety meds and I didn’t want to cry at work tomorrow
I’m also getting my period so I’m both ready to sob at any moment and RAGE By rage I mean probably just cry Maybe get mad for 4 seconds and decide to cry it out lmao
Ugh me yesterday for sureee my brain was like ✌️ at bowling bc of course I got triggered at competition then had to cry about it bc I thought it made Juan mad when he in fact was just worried 😆
AWWWWWW OMG I imagine Juan being like 🥺🥺🥺 Dan did something similar yesterday when I left in the middle of quiplash to change into my pjs because I absolutely could not nail the humor of his friends but he goes “are you okay??” And I was like oh yeah I’m just getting comfy and not particularly invested in the round Back to the enjoying my alone time comment, that’s definitely true in terms of having always been an introvert. However I think I also really value it bc it was so rare for so long. Plus getting through daily life working around trauma is fuckin exhausting and being alone I finally feel like I can get a breath
I was totally fine but maybe I shouldn’t have gotten up mid round lol I didn’t think anyone would notice bc there were so many of them
Dang this may become an article interesting
You know I felt something pretty similar for a while to what you’re saying about being alone, but I actually stopped feeling that way once I realized there were a lot more people dealing with it + had more people under my belt to talk to about it Which is definitely not to say that that’s what’s happening here Like you’re definitely more introverted than me, but I just found that interesting for me bc I always used to hide away from people But then I guess i found some solace in being able to breathe around people who knew how bad it hurt
Ok idk if I’m ready to deal with this emotion rn but I’m really glad you have that
To be fair I have neglected it all year when I prolly needed it most 🤷♀️ But also I really do feel like you have objectively been through some DEEP shit Sounds about right And that can’t be easy to want to open up about
Sometimes I want to scream at people about it
Like angry scream??
Yeah hah not like just random people lol I guess more like.. when I see something unjust that has parallels to it makes me want to scream until people fucking see it and truly understand how fucked up people can be to each other That’s kinda what I figured you meant (and thinking about how much you write for your page and such) - you have so much compassion for other survivors and of COURSE your inner fire is going to go off when you see an injustice that someone else is enduring when you’ve personally endured it already and been full circle to hell and back You’ve seen a lot of darkness a lot of people can’t say they’ve seen And you’ve leveraged that knowledge and feeling into something so much greater than just yourself I never let myself be angry, let’s go be angry lol