How many times do I have to be moved by a musical before I write about them in relation to my abuse? I feel like it’s a topic I’ve been avoiding almost even though I have a lot to say about it just because I would want to go into so many specific examples of feminism and abuse in Musicals and I just haven’t had the time to Sift through my thoughts and experiences with it.
Feminism and intersectionality in modern musicals is something that can’t be discounted. Aside from portraying women in strong leading roles often enough to make bechdel turn over in his grave (except make it another made up phrase pun or wordplay idk)
Because I’m a little high and working through some writers block, here are some musical moments that have moved the needle toward me getting away from my abuser and finding solace.
Is this a series? Embed videos
1. Hamilton: You’ll be back
I’m not the first to point out this take on the king. He’s obviously represented as an abusive figure. Though he addresses the country broadly in his monologues, romantic undertones of the song make him sound like an abusive partner.
So naturally, this was my abuser’s favorite song from the show. The King character was actually the only casting choice he really liked, saying it was “historically inaccurate” for the cast to be so diverse. That argument is a whole other article that will be coming as soon as I get to it.
Side note: Hamilton recently canceled its performances at the Kennedy Center in protest of Donald Trump’s attempted renaming of the theatre. Trump’s proud history of blatant bigotry, misogyny, racism, and violence goes against what I believe theatre to be: a space for acceptance and hope.
He’s also a rapist and pedophile. Fuck him.
2. Waitress: I need a bad idea
He’s going to owe you a lot of musicals.
In 2019, I found out my partner had been cheating on me With multiple women. I had been in deep denial of his abuse and we had just bought a house over an hour away from my loved ones. He had them so wrapped around his finger that they thought we were gonna get married, said they thought of him as family, the whole 9 yards. Even as they knew about his problematic drinking.
3. 30mm: Leave Luanne
This musical, 35mm, is probably the least mainstream outside of the people who refer to themselves as thespians. I have no idea where I found it, but I was hooked on this song.
That said, it has some incredible talent, including what’s her name from 21 Chump Street and Alex Brightman from Beetlejuice (another favorite of mine).
Find picture this song is inspired by?
Picture me: 2 weeks after escaping my abuser, taking my beautiful lab in for surgery for a rapidly-growing tumor. I’d reached out to tell my ex I’d found the lump, but he didn’t respond.
4. Hadestown: When the chips are down
By 2020, things were looking pretty dire for me. I was supposed to be headed to New York that May, a trip I planned from start to finish but was canceled due to Covid.
I couldn’t be more grateful, as it was allegedly where my abuser was planning to propose. I say allegedly because he was always teasing marriage as a way to manipulate and keep me on the hook.
In 2024, I reunited with some of my best friends in the entire world for a wedding in NYC. The morning after the festivities, an absolute joy), we somehow all managed to rouse from our respective hangover recovery positions, scarf down bagels I think about to this day, and walk our asses to Broadway.
We came this close to calling it off when we saw a person pick up a random sandwich they found on the street and take a bite. New York, man. But we got to experience the magic of the show together, and it was such a beautiful contrast to the way I was originally supposed to see the show and what that might have meant for me.