Originally written response to Modern Women’s September prompt:
When has your capacity surprised you — when you could hold more love, pain, or responsibility than you thought?
Would you look at that: the latest horror of current events in the United States.
I feel that familiar, boiling outrage at what I was reading; smash that repost button like it’ll single-handedly topple the regime.
Only after a moment of reflection do I remember I’m an investigative researcher in the habit of fact-checking inflammatory-sounding shit before jumping to reaction. Damn, they got me.
Even with mainstream U.S. media’s current censorship and corruption , it doesn’t typically take long to find a trustworthy source after a little digging. Typically I’ll do this prior to anything I reshare, but even the most practiced of us have blind spots.
Sometimes a quick search is all that’s needed to confirm whether a story is real. Alternatively, a deeper look might show that I’ve been duped by (shudder) fake news.
FaKe n3wZ. Barf. If ever I could erase a phrase from our collective use. I don’t know about you, but I only ever hear it in that obnoxious, squawking voice. Annoying enough for anyone, to be sure.
But you know when people say, “Do your own research” while having zero idea what a legitimate source looks like? Well… It so happens that as a lifelong point of passion and regular practice, I actually do that research. Not only have I personally investigated violent crimes, I’ve also spent years conducting research into the systemic reasons behind domestic violence and inequity.
And the entire why for what I do? It’s precisely because I have boundless experience with abusive assholes who loudly and rudely assert their incorrect opinions over evidence.
I was exhausted by the foghorn of lies telling me not to believe what I saw with my own eyes or endured with my own body. So I learned to seek out actual evidence: medical research, accounts from other survivors, studies on the impacts of abuse.
Slowly and imperfectly, I was relearning to safely reflect on and trust my own reality and experiences.
After dedicating myself to the pursuit of systemic change through education, you’ll see how I may judge myself more harshly for being fooled by the very lies I fight. But if there’s one thing about me, it’s that I’m going to be following up.
Don’t piss off researchers: We’ve got the citations
Trauma and a well-earned protective nature have made me deeply sensitive to the harm and injustice misinformation can cause. Abuse instilled what feels like a grave and delicate need to be fully understood.
For my experience to be valid, I’ve been taught that I need rock-solid evidence.
Whenever I catch myself impulsively spreading information that could be potentially inflammatory, I can’t help but feel like the abusers won once again; turned me into their unwilling Flying Monkey.
So I hit the comments section; looking for justification for allowing my emotions to take the wheel. “ See?” I’ll humbly comfort myself, “ I didn’t jump to conclusions, I simply… took decisive action thanks to my superior bullshit-detecting skills.”
No verifiable sources posted in the comments yet. Damn. I’m not upset for long though, because next up is what it’s all about: follow-up research!
(Walk-up music plays at a barely audible volume. Cue confetti, except it goes off too late and the sound startles me.)
I’ve spent my life with my nose in books; reading, writing, researching, and returning to question what I’ve learned all over again. So when it came to dealing after years of violence and manipulation; learning all I could about trauma and trying to make change felt a lot like healing.
Nothing like the fleeting validation of being backed by scientific research to convince myself to believe my own experience. It’s coping with my trust issues the best way I know how: one book at a time.
Defense mechanism though it may be, it’s become an incredibly useful practice, especially during these dungpresidented times. Maybe that’s why I extra hate it when I fall for a lie; even for a second.
Sometimes, I’ll go back and share my findings in the comments to back up (or gently correct) the author or myself. This is never to start a debate, nor to shame anyone for forgetting a source or for accidentally spreading misinformation.
My goal is always to maintain trust and integrity in a time where that can be difficult to spot. It’s to encourage others to take a second to follow-up, to think critically and cite sources; because the next BREAKING NEWS post they see may warrant a second look.
As survivors know all too well, gaslighting and reality distortion are common control tactics used by abusers and oppressive systems. The U.S. is, unsurprisingly, seeing a lot of these same bullying and abuse tactics from this current regime. Knowing how to spot the truth through that intentionally confusing and distracting fog matters.
I’m wildly grateful for the privilege of my access to education and practice in research. It’s been hugely influential in my work to help other survivors find safety, comfort, and community. I want to help you feel that way, too.
We’re allowed to admit we learned something that made us into a better, more informed version of ourselves than we were just moments ago. Having to walk of shame it back to edit a post you later found out to be false can be tough; but it’s better than blindly believing something harmful just because an intentionally biased algorithm shows it to us.
We all make mistakes, even those of us doing our best to verify and spread the truth. While being tricked isn’t our fault, we are responsible for what we do next.
The Internet is our tool for connection and learning. We show algorithms what works by how they influence our behavior; but that works both ways. Don’t let them weaponize our attention or our communities. Let’s take our information back.
The real bad things that are happening are bad enough. There are many ways we can fight back against misinformation, censorship, and algorithmic oppression:
- Treat fact-checking as an essential skill, because it is. This is something we can all learn to do, and it doesn’t have to be difficult. Start by only sharing things you know to be as accurate as possible. Bonus points if you include citations!
- Report hateful, dangerous, discriminatory, and false information. Take screenshots of the person’s profile and comment, then delete and block if you can.
- Learn to identify whether someone is spreading misinformation intentionally/maliciously (and whether it’s worth your peace). If I don’t see a response being constructive, I personally don’t feel the need to allow a bigot to bogart my platform. Why invite them onstage to amplify their hate and ruin the peace I’m trying cultivate? They can keep screaming into the echo chamber of their dark, lonely basement.
Instead of wallowing in shame or hiding from mistakes, we should let them inspire us to think more critically and question our own existing beliefs. Then we should teach others to do the same.
Knowing everything is impossible, but being open to learning is everything. Drown out lies and bigotry with truth and care. Let it bring us together.