Dearest extroverts and mentally well buds: You can keep your peak hours

Navigating the world as a trauma survivor can be exceptionally loud.

Common symptoms such as hypervigilance, emotional flashbacks, migraines, heightened stress response, and dissociation can lead to tremendous difficulty functioning in public settings.

Thankfully, technology has brought us tools, apps, and devices with the potential to provide relief to some of the daily triggers and obstacles that come with moving through society with trauma or other health conditions. Some are created with a specific wellness purpose in mind, but others are adapted from unexpected places.

For me, that unexpected lift comes from Google’s Popular Times and Live Visit Data graph.

Long-term effects of abuse on social functioning

After escaping my abuser of five years, I began the long and arduous task of breaking down and rebuilding the traumatized mess I’d become. This involved learning to navigate the world in a brain long-trained to be prepared for constant danger.

Being in public had become a heart-pounding, draining experience as I scanned for the threats I was so used to encountering. A raised voice or loud noise could spike my adrenaline, sending me either dissociating or reliving stressful memories. Even after fleeing across the country, I instinctually checked the license plate of every white truck, forever skittish he was still checking up on me as he used to.

I was so busy running through potential worse-case scenarios that I found it hard to focus, let alone have an enjoyable or relaxing time in social settings.

Best Google tool for survivors

Google’s Popular Times and Live Visit Data graph is a simple search function that’s become a crucial ally in my ability to tolerate being in public.

For those unfamiliar, when searching for a business on Google or Google Maps, results often display a graph showing hours the business is typically busy, along with real-time updates as the information is available.

If you’ve ever tried to beat crowds or avoid traffic, you may have been using it for years without really thinking about it. This function isn’t new; implemented in 2020 as a way to help with pandemic social distancing efforts, it’s become a helpful way for those with chronic health issues to plan their daily routines while proactively protecting their health.

Planning on a good time, not a loud time

It only recently hit me how important this ability has become to helping me get out of the house regularly. I check the Popular Times and Live Visit graph basically any time I’m able to plan my daily routine in advance.

When I have the flexibility in my day to choose less crowded times, I’m more likely to encounter a relatively peaceful, comfortable setting. This reduces my chances of being socially overwhelmed or exhausted from the effort of masking my discomfort.

I’m also able to better prepare for places that are likely to be activating for me. If I absolutely must venture out during the dreaded “Usually as busy as it gets” hours, I can plan ahead to grab my headphones (and my game face).

And you already know I pre-researched the menu, wrote down exactly what I wanted, and practiced saying it so I didn’t freeze up when I spoke to the server. I’ll take that pork belly ramen, please! Phew, nailed it.

This preparation helps keep my stress levels lower, which can improve overall health and reduce the prevalence of painful trauma symptoms!

Hey Google: Thanks a bunch (you scare me)

I don’t know if Google’s socially anxious customers were considered when this function was created, but as someone with a mental injury that makes it difficult to be around people, it’s been a lifesaver.

Instead of missing out on social events and activities I’m too stressed to enjoy, I’m empowered to plan around my needs and comfort level.

And sure, maybe it’s a tad scary that they have all of our location data at their whim; that technology is going to be the downfall of our species and possibly the planet overall. But the accessibility. We have to take our wins where we can.

In case it’s not clear, I’m in no way affiliated with or sponsored by Google. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it… I don’t want to risk blowing up my favorite peaceful spots. Upon reflection, I’m not promoting this idea at all. Please tell no one.

It’s 2 p.m. somewhere.

Sometimes the best way to heal from trauma is to accept that you’ll never be the same as you were and practice compassion for those wounded parts of yourself.

As someone diagnosed with CPTSD who already had a natural tendency toward introversion and planning, I’ve learned to luxuriate in a scheduled, well-organized adventure.

There’s nothing I love more than arriving at my destination and seeing a nearly empty parking lot. Experiencing a delightful local business all by myself or with an intimate group rather than being crammed in with throngs of loud, overstimulating people? How exclusive.

So I visit restaurants in the late afternoon to miss the lunch rush. I preserve bandwidth by grocery shopping on weekday mornings. I climb late in the evening so I can have the walls to myself without feeling watched. I’m an off-hour girly all the way.

Trauma doesn’t get to hold me back from experiencing fun and exciting things; I’m just learning to accommodate my own needs as I explore.

Trauma sucks. Recovery shouldn’t.

Thanks to the Know Thyself, Heal Thyself publication for nominating this story for a Boost! I’m wildly grateful to have found a community with whom I can share my journey of recovery from abuse.